Do you sometimes feel clueless in your relationship with others? Do you feel like you are completely drained in your being and you’d rather be dead than live this pathetic excuse, you call life? Everything bothers you and you mostly feel worthless. There’s this constant nagging feeling that you might not be doing enough for a person/relationship/job, so forth and so on!?
Did you ever wonder, if this feeling was stemming from your own ‘people-pleaser’ characteristic?
And as you realise it deep within you, you will come to know, this is exactly what has been keeping you from accepting yourself fully! From this point on, you have to stop being a people pleaser… You have to put your foot down and tell yourself… “This is it!”
But how do you do that?
Now, begin from this small information—the fact, you are thinking about this situation that you’re in, you are actually working on your subconscious. When you begin to notice patterns in your behaviour or how you have been reacting/responding to situations and people, you get a fair idea of your characteristics (people-pleasing in this scenario).
The thing is, as you become aware of this behavioural pattern, your first response to yourself would be to ‘STOP’… analyse and reflect on your actions. However, as you begin to do this, you will notice people having negative emotions/reactions towards (new) you. What is happening here? It is quite simple… they are unable to see the new person standing in front of them. Suddenly, they have no control over you or any effect; that can get you to react/respond to their whims and fancies!
As this shift happens, you will be pulled down, called names, tagged selfish and much more that will come to you from them… making you feel like you are the bad person and at the receiving end for something you did not even do… Why is that happening?
It’s all about sub-conscious programming. They cannot relate to this new person since they are used to of the ‘people-please’ programming in you and this is bound to get some extremely negative response from them.
This, however, will open up a new thought process for you… where you will realise that perhaps, you are still too attached to that person/situation/relationship, etc. You are still giving them too much power over you… You will be able to see through this situation with a whole new perspective and clarity!
What do you do in this situation?
You Heal Your Emotional Guilt
The first thing to consider here is, these people who are putting you down and calling you selfish are speaking from their own programming, which is hard-wired in their system. It is all a projection of their limiting thought process on you. This calls for deep introspection and healing your emotional responses to such people drastically. You must relearn to value your own worth and know that it is absolutely okay to think about yourself first! Whether you are a man or a woman, it is important to understand that undervaluing your worth will do you no good.
Here are three steps that can help you rewire and re-establish yourself, and truly take your power back.
1. Take Time to Connect with Nature. Go amid the lush green areas, walk barefoot on the grass, hug a tree or simply become one with your breath while sitting under a tree or near a healing plant.
2. Do Alternative Breathing called Pranayama. You should listen to a high vibrational song/music that can help you focus. I usually enable people on ‘”How to Meditate?”, but in such toxic scenarios, I usually first ask people to become really aware of their presence through alternative breathing.
3. The person who projected these scenarios at you was at a lower energy level at that point in time. They are burning with anger and madness and they have no idea what to do! So all you need to do is to send them ‘Healing Light’.
Sit in meditation and visualize sending them the ‘Golden Light of the Sun’.
Just deeply visualise that there’s an enormous amount of light, love and forgiveness that is flowing on the relationship you share with this person. In the end, just breathe in from your heart to their heart.
And so it is!!