Stress at the Office? The Cause Might Not Be What You Think

Stress at the Office? The Cause Might Not Be What You Think

Stress at the Office? The Cause Might Not Be What You Think

 

Are you experiencing stress at the office? Perhaps you uncontrollably lose it when your computer crashes, or your coworkers make you want to tear your hair out. Stress can arise as anxiety before meetings, deadlines, or presentations.

When stressed, it’s difficult to sleep and feelings of anger and impatience are quick to come to the forefront. While it’s easy to point to the office as a source of stress, the real cause might not be what you think.

Job Stress as Stand-In

 

It’s easy for us to point to our jobs as the source of our stress or to use relationships in the office as a placeholder for what’s making us crazy. When we rant to others, feel overwhelmed, tired, or frustrated, to blame it on our workload or our co-workers is convenient, safe, and relatable.

 

To be stressed from busy-ness has become a source of pride in a society that values hard work, doggedness, and the hustle. And yet, there are those who can hustle without feeling anxious, and there’s always someone with a similar or even more demanding job, who doesn’t share the same sleeplessness you do.

What makes those people different? They understand the real cause of stress.

The Real Cause of Stress

In moments of stress, it’s important to recognize that stress isn’t sent to you by the job or a co-worker. The sensation of stress can only arise from within you.

For example, what makes one person read an email and experience panic and stress, while another reads the same email and gets excited, while yet another feels little of anything? Any reaction is possible because the stress isn’t sent via email, it’s a product of your perspective.

Taking a moment to understand that perspective by checking in with what you’re thinking and feeling can help you locate the true cause of your stress. Is it fear of failure? Fear of financial hardship? Fear of not being liked in the meeting, or of being critiqued after the presentation? Once you find the storyline, follow it back to its origins, as far back as you can.

When you recognize that stress comes from nowhere other than your own perspective, you are empowered to change the one thing you can – yourself.

Becoming Stress-Free

As long as you’re trapped in thinking the office is the source of your stress, you’ll keep turning to the wrong fix. If only the boss would stop acting that way if only there was less traffic on the commute if only that one coworker would behave differently. None of these solutions are within your control.

When you understand the real cause of stress, you’ll turn to more effective ways of coping.  Rather than expecting the world around you to change, you change yourself. Take more time for self-care, including exercise, yoga, or meditation. Seek help if you need it, or talk to a trusted friend about your deepest fears. By saying them out loud, you take away their power.

The Heart Focused Breathing Technique is also very effective in reducing stress. Why? Because it changes you. As the first step in getting coherent, Heart Focused Breathing reminds you where stress is really coming from. You. By combining the simple act of focusing on

the heart area with a deeper level of breathing, you draw energy away from your distressing thoughts and feelings.

Among the benefits of Heart-Centered Breathing, is that it can be practiced anywhere; in the office, on your commute, or even in your next meeting. This eyes-open technique helps you feel grounded, centered, and present in just a few cycles of breath.

By taking the time to reconnect with yourself, you reconnect to that place within you that can handle those emails stress-free.

Learn more about how to practice this technique for office stress, on the job stress, or anytime stress here:

Here is a video of me walking through the technique:

Are You Stuck Waiting To Be Perfect?

Are You Stuck Waiting To Be Perfect?

Are You Stuck Waiting To Be Perfect?

How Perfectionism is Holding You Back

 

Many of us grow up with the idea that it’s good to be a perfectionist. We want to do our best and be the best. As children, we received gold stars, in school, we made the honor roll, and now? Holding ourselves to perfectionist ideals could be hurting us more than helping.

Perfectionism could be exactly the thing that’s holding you back from true success. 

The Problem with Perfectionism

 

It would seem as though wanting to be perfect should be a good thing. It would motivate us to work harder, come up with the best ideas, and produce the best work. Unfortunately, that’s not how perfectionism plays out.  

 

Perfectionism leads to inaction, as our fear of underperforming causes procrastination. We’re either paralyzed and unable to begin, or we work even more hours in pursuit of the ideal, unable to ever complete a task.  

 

Perfectionism stifles our creativity by boxing us in and limiting our freedom to try new things. By sticking only to what we’re already good at, we fail to build new skills or realize new ideas. 

 

Perfectionism holds us in a negative state of mind, by labeling everything we do as not quite good enough. A perfectionist is much more attuned to the details of what went wrong than what went right. Even if the big picture is positive, a perfectionist will zero in on a few small things that could have been improved. 

 

This negativity and inability to reach the highest bar keeps us in a continual state of anxiety and stress. The more we fail to meet that bar, the worse we feel about ourselves, the more our stress increases, and the more we must become perfect just to feel ok. 

 

We become trapped in a vicious cycle, where, much like a hamster on a wheel, we’re running towards nothing. Why nothing? Because the truth about perfectionism is that it’s an illusion.

The Illusion of Perfection 

One woman’s ‘perfect’ is another woman’s ‘not quite.’ Perfectionism is subjective and it’s changing. Only you can decide what perfect is. So what is it to you, and what have you been expecting or afraid of? 

 

Are you expecting gold stars or your name on the honor roll again? Often, in our adult lives, we just don’t get that type of feedback. This frequently has nothing to do with you; everyone’s just busy. Let go of your reliance on external praise, and find it on the inside by taking pride in your efforts. 

 

Are you afraid? If you’re feeling paralyzed by perfection it’s time to look inward and get honest about what it is that you’re afraid of. Perfectionism is fear in disguise. Criticism, suggestions, feedback, or even second place may not feel good in the moment, but they are an important part of your journey. Are you afraid of failure? 

 

Failure is just as subjective as perfection. For example, if by making a mistake we learn something important, or if by ‘failing’ we end up somewhere new, couldn’t we label that as perfection? 

 

How to Let Go of Perfectionism

 

Begin by becoming aware of what’s fueling your perfectionism. Dig deep to reveal you’re true fears. Once you drill down to the core of what’s driving you, it may seem silly and outdated, or you may have revealed what it is that you really need to work on. 

 

Stop using the words, “I should have,” “I could have,” or “I wish I would have.” Deal with the present in the present by taking positive action, and spend less time ruminating on the past. 

 

Practice self-acceptance and self-compassion. Ironically, those who are obsessed with being perfect often have low self-esteem. You’re perfect just as you are, and you are exactly where you need to be to learn what you need to learn. 

 

Set achievable, healthy goals, which is completely different from perfectionism. Celebrate each small achievement to become more aware of all the things you’re currently doing well. 

 

Remember that success comes in all shapes and sizes, and what success will end up looking like for the future you, might be a surprise to your present-moment self. 

 

YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY!

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Maybe you worked with LOA before and it worked once, but it’s not working anymore. Maybe you are not getting the results you were expecting, and you want to know where you are going wrong.
Or maybe you just want to learn more about LOA and you want to do it RIGHT when you first start. Wherever you are in your manifestation journey this guide will help you avoid the mistakes most people make and put you in the flow of abundance.
Once you know the mistakes you need to avoid, you are now accelerating your results to manifest.

Here’s why you need to go through guide before you begin to work with the Law of Attraction:

I’ve seen people totally SMASH life by using the Law of Attraction. It’s like they were magic and could conjure up whatever they wanted life to give them.
But on the flipside… I’ve seen people try and try and try. But they got nothing.
Crickets.
None of their desires showed up for them.
So, I hear you asking, what’s the difference?
Why does the Law of Attraction work for some people and not for others? Is it just because some people are luckier?
Thank goodness, the answer is NO!
The Universe doesn’t favor one set of people over another.
It’s not about favor at all, in fact. It’s about RESPONSE. How YOU address the Universe depends on how it will respond to you. That’s what the Law of Attraction is all about at its foundation!
The problem is, some people use LOA but don’t get it quite right. They make mistakes that seem small but actually STOP the Universe from creating the greatness they want to see, from bringing them the blessings they so desperately want. They end up frustrated, disillusioned, and angry.

I don’t want that for you.

In this eBook, I share with you the top 10 mistakes people make when using the Law of Attraction. Read it carefully, so that you won’t fall into the same traps. You CAN manifest the life of your dreams with the Law of Attraction. Just make sure to move all the blocks in your way!

How I created more Time

How I created more Time

How I created more time for myself as an ambitious, goal-driven woman

If you’re anything like me, you wish there were 30 hours in a day.
How is there time to get everything done in just 24?!
Just a short while ago, I was perpetually stressed. My to-do list never had all the checks by it at the end of the day. I was running at superspeed, trying to get everything done, and my head and neck felt tense with stress.

But then I found an amazing hack to turn it all around. More on that later.
First, here’s a breakdown of what my day looked like. See if you relate:
I’ve had a morning ritual for a long time now, to help me center and ground, and get focused on my goals, so that came first. A calm oasis at the beginning of each day, which I so badly needed. After that, it was full on, go go go, getting my kids (3.5 and 2) ready for day-care.
I battled the traffic and got home by 9. There was just about time for a cup of tea before I started with my tasks for the day:

Client calls
Meetings
Admin ad infinitum…
Then I looked at the clock.
How on EARTH can it be almost 4pm ALREADY?!

 I rushed to go pick my kids up. My cranky, cranky kids. At that time of day, they’re not at their best. Hungry, testy, and needing all the attention in the world.

I cooked dinner while they whined and moaned. Then they didn’t eat half of what I’d lovingly prepared, even though they very definitely did like that type of food yesterday.

We do our bedtime routine.
Then I’m back on the laptop, working again.

Now, I’m not a single mom… But you may have noticed there was absolutely ZERO ‘Me & Husband’ time in the schedule.

Well, pretty much the only time we got to spend together was me complaining, “I HAVE NO TIME TO WORK! I have so much on my plate. I have so many ideas. I want to expand my business in this direction, that direction, but I DON’T HAVE TIME…”

 The extent of our communication was me saying to him…
Do more.
Do more.
Do more.
Do more childcare.
Do more chores.
Do fricking MORE, darn it!

Yeah, so you can imagine just how fulfilling our relationship was at that point.
One day, amidst all the stress and bickering, I thought…

 There is something wrong going on here. Something’s not right.

Quickly I realized I was focusing on the LACK. I had a lack mindset in saying, “I don’t have time.” I kept saying that to myself, to my husband, to other people, over and over, and it made me more and more stressed. I felt constantly rushed. I wondered if my mindset was contributing to the stress and pressure I felt.

BOOM!
Mind blown.

I knew I had to change things.
It was then I had a slightly revolutionary idea.
I took the decision to CREATE MORE TIME.

 Yes. You read that right.
And no. This is not a science fiction story.
I went back to what I do best – mindset work – and got experimenting. Here’s how…

 The next morning, I got up as usual and did my morning ritual. (Psst, if you haven’t yet joined my 7 day challenge for morning ritual, click here to jump on. You won’t regret it.) But this time, when it came to the bit on gratitude I do, I held my head up high, and confidently said, “I’m so grateful for having all the time I need to do my work. THANK YOU, Universe, for giving me this opportunity to do the work that I LOVE.”

Then when it came to my affirmations part, I said, “I have all the time to do what I want to do. Time expands for me.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. All of this was really cool. But I was still a teeny tiny bit sceptical it could work. I mean, create time?! Anyone who knows me or works with me knows I am a fully paid up member of the Manifestation club, but this? Maybe I’d gone a little too far this time.

But, boy…Let me tell you…

I had NO idea the power of gratitude could be this powerful.
I noticed things start to change IMMEDIATELY
For one, I felt calm and relaxed. This enabled me to achieve more in the same amount of time. When I looked up at the clock, it wasn’t nearly 4pm. It was only 11.30am. It literally felt like I had stretched out time.

Not only that. My relationship became warm and satisfying again. We were spending quality time, chatting and laughing, not complaining.
Everything around me changed.Just with a simple act of gratitude…
I’ve been working with gratitude for so long. But this… this was something else. I learned gratitude has so much power. So, so, so much, that we can’t even comprehend it.

We absolutely have the power to create what we want.
All we need to do is create habits for success. A morning ritual that incorporates gratitude and affirmations is one of them.

The key, though, is consistency. We have to be persistent in our practices. Some days I don’t feel like doing my morning routine. But I do it anyway, because I know it’s a long term investment in my own success. When motivation fails, I know I need to be disciplined.

I’ve loved telling you this about my life because it illustrates my work so clearly…

First, we need to first identify the patterns that we have that are holding us back.

My pattern was thinking, saying and believing, “I don’t have enough time.”

Then we need to turn that belief around.

“I have plenty of time to do everything I need to do,” was the way I did this.

Next, we need to install in this new belief as ‘positive programming’ that give us different    results.

 

“I’m so grateful for having all the time I need to do my work. THANK YOU, Universe, for giving me this opportunity to do the work that I LOVE.”

“I have all the time to do what I want to do. Time expands for me.”And it worked so incredibly beautifully. I go through the same with my clients seeking transformation and more success in their lives.So if there’s one thing I want you to take away from this today, it’s… the power of gratitude!

Woman, it’s New Moon! Time to plant the seeds for manifesting

Woman, it’s New Moon! Time to plant the seeds for manifesting

Yep, it’s New Moon.

Did you know that now is the best time to…

…set intentions
…release past baggage
…invite in new possibilities?

Well, now you do.

Even in the past when I wasn’t conscious about New Moon, I always found myself doing this ritual I’m about to share with you. Then, when I began to explore manifesting, New Moon energy was one of the first things I discovered. I was so surprised to find out there was a connection I never even knew about!

Ever since my discovery, over two years ago now, I’ve been perfecting my New Moon ritual for maximum manifesting power! Do you have any goals and plans you really want to achieve and make a reality? Great! You can use my manifesting ritual for your own life. Try it for yourself and see what magic you can work in your life.

Step 1: Get Clear

The clearer and specific you are, the faster you will manifest. Many people don’t know that this is the most important part of manifesting. Even if you got all the other parts wrong, if you are clear about exactly what you want, you are half way there!

So, think about what is that you want to experience. Remove all the limitations and allow your mind to dream really, really big. Then ask yourself, in your heart of hearts, “What do I really want?” Maybe it’s money, or to move location, or a specific opportunity. There are no right or wrong answers. The only thing is that it has to be right for you.

When I wanted to manifest money, I used the abundance check to write a specific amount and date by when I need that money.

Boom!!! It manifested…

You can do it too!!!

Download the template for abundance here.

Step 2: Make wishes and Set Intentions

Next, make 3 wishes (Remember wishes are different from setting intentions)

What is that you want to experience now?

May be more money in your bank account?

May be a new house?

Or Attract the perfect mate.

Write them down on a piece of paper. (Normally, it is said to burn the wishes after you make it. It’s up to you to do whatever you are called to)

Once, you make your wishes it’s time to set some intentions that will support your goals for the next month.

Why a month? Well, because you’re manifesting for this lunar cycle – that is, until the New Moon comes around again next month.

So, get to thinking…

What do I want to accomplish in this lunar cycle?

If you have a short goal to achieve in the short term then great! You’re all set.

If you have a bigger goal, break it down into smaller steps. Which steps can be taken this month?

Make sure the intentions you set for the month are not outrageous or completely unbelievable to your subconscious mind. For example, “I’ll earn a million dollars this month,” is not feasible (for most of us)!

So it shouldn’t be totally out there… instead, it should be pushing your limits just enough.

Go on, take a moment to write down your intentions for this lunar cycle. Try to think of 3 to 5 goals.

Step 3: Let it go

In order to invite something new in your life, you need to make room for it.

That’s just a law of the universe.

So how do we work with this law when manifesting? Well, we realize that to accomplish the goals we set in Step 2, we’re going to have to let some things go. What are you willing to let go so you can bring in new energies?

For instance…

If your intention is ‘I have the intention of reading 1 book this month’, then you could say ‘I’m willing to watch TV everyday only for an hour instead of 3 hours and I will read a book in that time.’

If your intention is to set boundaries with your work/life balance, then you could say, ‘I will not check my work email once I’m home. I’ll also set some specific times that I absolutely cannot bring work into.’

If your intention is to move from anxiety into a state of peace, then you could say, ‘I’m willing to trust the universe and let go of the need to know how and when things manifest.’

Go ahead and think of the things you can let go in order to create space for what you really want!

Step 4:  Write Affirmations

If you know anything about me, you’ll know that I love affirmations.

They’re great tools to implant your goals directly into your subconscious, making it much more likely that your dreams will manifest into reality. Why? Because our subconscious is tapped into the wider power of the Universe. It’s a part of us that’s more powerful than we can even imagine!

New Moon is one of the best times to say affirmations, because of the ‘new’ energy in the air all around us. Create your affirmations and you’re well on the way to seeing your goals manifest right before your eyes!

Download my free Abundance Affirmations HERE.

Step 5: Amplify your intention!

Did you know you can amplify your intentions to make your manifesting stronger? You can intensify your vibration and frequency so that the Universe can ‘hear’ what you’re asking for loud and clear! I am all about manifesting quickly and effectively. To do that, my favorite method is to layer up vibrations.

Here’s 4 of my favorite ways to get your signal out into the Universe, totally supercharged:

  1. Crystal Grid

Creating and activating a crystal grid on a New Moon is my absolute powerhouse tool for manifestation.

Personally, I’m deeply connected to archangel Metatron so I  mostly choose a Metatron grid template for my crystal grids. (You may notice me wearing a Metatron pendant in every video and photo, and my business logo is Metatron.)

For the New Moon, my go-to stones are Moonstone, Selenite and Labradorite, with clear quartz crystal points.

  1. Candles

Candles are a beautiful addition to bring in the vibration of Sun, the creator being, Ra. You can use plain candles or dress them, and put them in different formations. Which colors will you use? It’s all up to you and what you feel comfortable with.

  1. Essential Oils

Oh, I love essential oils. Not only do they raise your frequency but they elevate the mood and set the ambience. Lavender and frankincense are some of my favorites.

  1. Pyramids

Of course, no event, ceremony or ritual is complete for me without the power of the pyramid frequencies. Pyramids amplify the frequency by raising the vibration.

They are super powerful tools to work with while setting our intentions.

Step 6: Release attachment

The last step, the key to activating your desire, is to let go of the ‘when’ and ‘how’. We love to be in control, and know exactly how things are going to happen. But let’s be real… when has life ever worked like that?! When we are focused on control, competition and judgment, our vibration lowers, making it less likely our dreams will come true.

At this point in the manifestation process, we are already connected to the collective grid. All we need to do is just “BE” in the now, and allow the magic to happen!

But wait!

Before you begin your New Moon ritual, here are some of my top tips about preparation:

  • You can really make this an intense ceremony or can be a quick 10-minute ritual. There is no right or wrong method here. Really go with what works for you, no guilt, no shame.
  • Before you start your New Moon ritual, make sure you clean the space that you are going to use physically, sweeping and dusting etc. Also allow the light and air to come in by opening the windows.
  • Clear the space energetically using your favorite method (e.g. smudge/hand sweep/sound tuning etc).
  • I also play some high vibe music prior to the ceremony to raise the frequency of the space.

Okay, now here’s a quick recap of the method, and I’ll show you my personal process that I follow for my New Moon rituals.

First, I start with the clearing and grounding

Write my wishes (3 wishes)

Release belief systems/habits that no longer serve me

Set Intentions that support my wishes.  (I go crazy with colors/ pictures)

Affirmations

Activate Crystal Grid

(TIP: I also charge my water with new moon energies and drink it all month while doing my morning affirmations.)

End with Meditation

See how easy and powerful this is?

You can do it, too! I hope you take some tips from this and make your own New Moon ritual.

Please share your comments and tips for making this even more powerful!